| The Willow Sourcebook |
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Most people meet brownies by accident, often when they open the cookie jar or picnic basket and find one gorging himself. Or when the brownie "helpfully" repaves a garden walk with drunken squirrels. Or he exchanges all the clothing in a lady's dresser with that in the gentleman's dresser three houses down. And so on. This makes for strained human-brownie relations. Scholars were surprised to learn, then, that the fairies recruited brownies to be their intermediaries with humanity... diplomats, so to speak. THE ORIGIN OF THE BROWNIES The only source explaining their enlistment is a nealy illegible scroll by Menes the Incarcerate, an ancient writer of Lower Cashmere. "Incarcerate" is an old-fashioned term that means he wrote the scroll while in prison. Some critics call Menes "the Inaccurate," for his other writings are riddled with unfounded gossip, legends, and inconsistencies. There is no reason to think that his account of the brownies is any better, but it is the only one. According to Menes, the fairy rulers, or high fey, became aware of humankind many thousands of years ago, before history began. When humanity rose to civilization, the fey saw they would have to come to terms with the new race or risk destruction. But fairies could not negotiate peace treaties. Most of the happy folk never speak, they have no great interest in humans, and they forget everything before long. The rulers, the only ones with memories longer than a few seasons, could not be everywhere at once. So they decided to find servants who could. No one is sure what the brownies were doing until then. Probably they were making the lives of humanity's prehistoric ancestors hard in more or less the same way they do now. The long experience would explain why they're so good at it. Most brownies harbor intense curiosity about magic, though very few have any ability for it. When the high fey asked the brownies to serve them, no doubt they leaped at the chance. When the new servants moved into the fairy forest, the fairies befriended them instantly. PROTECTION SCHEMES Intelligent, extremely long-lived (though not immortal like the fairies), and able to range across the world, the brownies soon became known in all human kingdoms. The name "brownie" is a human invention, and the fairies have adopted it. But rather than protectors of the fairy forests, brownies became the inveterate and eternal nuisances of the world. For example, brownies require little food, but that doesn't stop them from gorging themselves for the fun of it and napping afterward. (A brownie can eat staggering amounts of food.) The explanation, it seems, is that the fairies envisioned their ambassadors in their image of humans. The fairies looked at human beings and saw them to be greedy, violent, excitable, simpleminded, jealous, and prone to petty squabbles. So they looked for go-betweens that fit the same model. Today, most humans find brownies disgusting. They feel the revulsion one knows when looking into a distorted mirror. The brownies happily cultivate that image by committing endless practical jokes. Why? Given their millennial lifespans, probably out of boredom. Humans may not like brownies, but smart humans know better than to annoy them. For example, one spring Urjax the Unconquerable, emperor of a great kingdom, decided it was wasteful and undignified to pacify brownies by distributing bowls of candy and flavored ices around the forest edge. "I have nothing to fear and nothing to gain from brownies," he said in court. "Cease this bribery at once." When the brownies learned of Urjax's orders, a host of them came to serenade the emperor with music - not the exquisite fairy music humans love, but brownie music, harsh cat wailing and pot beating and hee-haws. At every hour the musicians hounded Urjax through every room of his castle, giving him no rest. He sent his guards after them, but the brownies vanished into the walls like mice. He tried smoking them out with foul incense, but they piled the censers in his bedchamber. He set cats on them, but the brownies rode the cats like horses. He tried traps and tricks and bribes, and after three sleepless days he was too tire to try anything more. Then a delegation of brownies visited the emperor unannounced. In his bechamber. After midnight. With a gesture, they stopped the music. They explained their grievance to Urjax and politely proposed that he resume his offerings. "Anything!" said Urjax the Unconquerable. BROWNIES TODAY Menes claims all brownies are male, insofar as the term has meaning; no one knows how they reproduce. Reliable observers have not verified this. Certainly, most brownies display traits associated with human males: aggression, boastfulness, defensive pride, and sometimes obstinate stupidity. Humans with these qualities are dangerous. But though they can be tremendous nuisances, brownies are basically harmless. They don't lack ambition - Franjean, for one, has declard himself King of the World - only selfishness and the ability to hate. Without these, they are little more obnoxious than spoiled children. Of course, even a spoiled child can be charming; no doubt that is why it survives. Brownies, too, may have their uses. Sometimes they take a shine to a particular person, and can be helpful. Franjean and Rool developed an attachment to Willow, and they did their best to help him on his adventure. But it must be stressed, pointedly, that there is no predictable way to endear oneself to a brownie. Politeness seems to help, but their reactions often seem random, and they are easily offended. What's more, the case of Franjean and Rool points up that a helpful brownie can be even more troublesome than one who is out to get you. Some brownies can be domesticated, if that is the word, and brought into human culture. Since their adventure with Willow, Franjean and Rool have become pages at the court of Tir Asleen. But such "trained" brownies still display mischievous behavior when not watched closely. Rool, for instance, has found fifteen different things to do to a noblewoman's petticoats, while the woman is wearing them. She hasn't discovered him yet, but people at court are remarking on the way sudden movements make her jump. GAMING NOTES Armor Class: 0 Because of their small size and inhuman agility, any attack on brownies is -6 to hit. SKILLS Spear or bow, lockpicking, concealment, stealth, persuasion (sometimes). Brownies can ride small animals like cats or hawks. Brownies do not ordinarily cast spells, nor can they talk to animals as fairies do. POSSESSIONS Weapon (doubles as lockpick), plus whatever they can steal and carry. Brownie don't usually carry fairy dust; Franjean stole the Dust of Broken Heart. WEAPON DAMAGE Brownies can hit with greater accuracy than their hit dice indicate. Treat them as 5th to 7th-level fighters when striking. However, they do little or no damage. If a brownie makes his to-hit roll by 5 or more, he inflicts 1 hit point of damage; otherwise, no damage is done. RIDING A brownie can ride on a hawk, cat, small dog, or similar steed. In this case the brownie moves at the mount's speed. The brownie's weight, about two pounds, may slow the animal at the gamemaster's discretion. |
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