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Leprechaun in the Hood Early Script Part 2 |
Other stuff: Email - Guestbook |
Written by Douglas L. Hall for Trimark Pictures
INT. MACK-DADDY'S CRIB - NIGHT
Seemingly miraculously, Mack Daddy is slowly stirring his way back to consciousness. As he regains his senses,
MACK DADDY: (rubbing his chest) These gold chains saved my life. Stopped the bullet. (thinking) I must be the black Moses!
He looks around to survey the damage.
MACK DADDY: Damn! Ripped off in broad daylight! (looking around) Them boys is gonna pay! They is gonna pay big-time!
He is then mesmerized as the tattered shreds of the Leprechaun begin to magically re-assemble, until he stands before Mack, complete.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) Oh shit!
LEPRECHAUN: A lot of time has come and passed. I see you're still a big fat ass! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
He pounces on Mack and they struggle mightily. Mack gets him in a head-lock, but the Lep bites him on the hand. Mack, in great pain throws the Leprechaun against the wall, stunning him momentarily.
MACK DADDY: Shit! They took the necklace! My ass gots to git! Damn!
He stumbles out, terrified of the Lep's powers. The Lep awakens. He stretches and looks around, getting his bearings.
LEPRECHAUN: When in Rome, do as the Romans. When in the hood, dress as the hoodlums.
He uses his magic to conjure up some new gear. Green overalls, an over-sized green sweatshirt, a green scarf around his head, and of course, his patented black shoes with gold buckles. He is about to leave when he notices several gold records hanging on the wall.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Discs of gold! This place has soul!
He looks around.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) I'll get me flute, on that you can bet, or leave this town with a pot of regret!
INT. POOL HALL - DAY
Patrons are playing pool at the Golden Cue. There is a maze of about 10 pool tables. In a corner sits Mack Daddy, nervously wolfing down potato skins.
MACK DADDY (to a passing waitress) More potato skins. (pauses to eat) Damn, almost gettin' killed makes me hungry.
EXT. THE POOL HALL - DAY
The Leprechaun is walking down the street and stops at the entrance to The Golden Cue. He sees a hooker standing outside.
LEPRECHAUN: Hooker T. Washington! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
HOOKER: Midgets cost double, and kink is extra.
LEPRECHAUN: The hood is dope, the town is hype. When I finds me gold, I'll lay some pipe.
He looks up and sees the sign, "The Golden Cue."
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) If gold's the name, then pool's me game!
He goes inside The Golden Cue.
In the corner, Mack Daddy notices the arrival of the little green monster.
MACK DADDY: Damn! He still got a nose for gold!
Mack gets up and sneaks away, into the bathroom.
Heads turn and eyes widen at the sight of the little green gremlin, so obviously out of place.
POOL PLAYER 1: Damn, somebody fucked that boy up real good.
POOL PLAYER 2: Yo freak!! You got the wrong colors on boy!
Everyone laughs, but the Leprechaun just ignores them as he makes his way to the bar. He hops up onto one of the empty bar stools, drunk patrons on both sides of him.
LEPRECHAUN: An Irish coffee to stir me cockles!
BARTENDER: We ain't got that! We got three beers. Colt 45 in the bottle, Colt 45 on tap, Colt 45 in the can. Which one you want?
LEPRECHAUN: One of each to quench me thirst.
As the bartender gets his drinks, the drunks grow obnoxious to the little visitor.
DRUNK 1: Damn boy! Yo'r mama musta' been some kinda' ugly!
DRUNK 2: She so ugly, the mirror got a restrainin' order!
CUT TO MACK. Mack is very nervous as he hides in a stall. He pulls at the gold ring on his left hand, but it will not budge.
MACK DADDY: Got to be cool. Got to be cool.
He tugs at the ring again. It will not budge. He then hears footsteps, the footsteps of tiny feet. He looks under the stalls, sees a little pair of feet coming towards him. They stop in front of his door. Mack decides on a pre-emptive move. He rips open the door and grabs the little person, but it is not the Leprechaun. It is... just a little dwarf.
LITTLE PERSON: Yo, hold up! Let go 'a me! I don't swing from that side! Put me down!
Mack puts the little guy down and he scurries from the bathroom. Mack settles back into his stall.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) Got to relax. Settle my nerves.
He takes out a marijuana joint, lights it, and closes his eyes. He is startled once again by footsteps. Tiny footsteps, coming towards him. They stop. They come closer. He tries to peer under the stall.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) Everybody want to be a comedian!
LEPRECHAUN: (O.S.) Looking for a Leprechaun, laddie?
Mack looks up to see the Leprechaun peering over the stall door. As he sommersaults over the door,
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
The Leprechaun looks at the glowing blunt, curious. Mack notices his interest and offers him a toke. The Leprechaun accepts. He inhales. He likes it. He inhales again.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) A friend with weed is a friend indeed!
Another toke and the blunt is completely gone.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) But a friend with gold is the best I'm told. (pause) Knock, knock.
MACK DADDY: Who's there?
LEPRECHAUN: Gold.
MACK DADDY: Gold who?
LEPRECHAUN: Goldfinger.
He suddenly reaches out, grabbing Mack's hand, twisting Mack's digit until it breaks off.
MACK DADDY: Aaaaaggggghhhhh!!
As he falls to the floor in excruciating pain, the Lep goes through his pockets, delighted to find even more joints.
LEPRECHAUN: You'll find me gold in record time or suffer a bloody, heinous crime.
CUT TO THE POOL HALL: The Leprechaun stands on a pool table trying to get some service from the waitresses.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) (to a passing waitress) Would you like some green, in between?
She ignores him.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) (to another waitress) I've got a tip, it's long and green, if you ask me nice, I'll tickle your spleen!
She ignores him as well.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Hmmmm. I hate to resort so soon to magic, but I haven't been laid in so long, it's tragic!
He goes back to the bar, jumps up on the bar, and while the bartender's back is turned, opens the cash register and takes out a wad of cash. He begins to wave it in the air, and soon, four waitressess (mixture of white, black, Asian) vie for his attention.
WAITRESS 1: Can I bring you something special, little green man?
WAITRESS 2: She's slow. I'll be happy to fill your order.
LEPRECHAUN: If you want my money, say the magic words, honey. We owe our souls to the Leprechaun, where the days are green and the nights are long.
WAITRESS 3: And you'll give us the whole wad?
LEPRECHAUN: Repeat the words! Twice!
All four repeat their pledge to the Leprechaun.
WAITRESSES: We owe our souls to the Leprechaun, where the days are green and the nights are long. We owe our souls to the Leprechaun, where the days are green and the nights are long.
Suddenly, a bright, white light emanates from their eyes like laser beams. They are zombies.
INT. PAWN SHOP - DAY
Jackie Dee is running around the pawn shop, straightening things up a bit. Jackie isn't wearing any pants, just boxer shorts. The boys enter, Stray carrying a garbage bag filled with the gold. Post just mopes and follows the others around.
JACKIE DEE: Uh-oh. What you boys got now?! Stevie Wonder's drivers license?!
His joke cracks him up.
WRECK: You might as well start draggin' out the best audio gear you got in this sorry mutha-fucker. You hear?
Stray and Wreck high-five each other.
STRAY BULLET: Where yo'r pants at Jackie?
JACKIE DEE: Everythang's for sale at Jackie Dee's! Now how you gon' pay for this audio gear?
Stray opens the bag of gold under Jackie's nose.
STRAY BULLET: Let's negotiate, home biscuit.
FAST FORWARD
The boys are standing in the back of Jackie Dee's shop, checking out some audio gear in new boxes.
JACKIE DEE: Now this here is my prime stock.
STRAY BULLET: Uh-huh. How much for this prime equipment? We need the gear and operatin' funds.
JACKIE DEE: Hmmmmm. You drive a hard bargain, junior. I give ya' all this here, and five hundred dollars for everything in that bag.
The boys look at each other, look at the boxes of equipment, look at each other, and nod their approval.
FAST FORWARD. Now in the front of the store. The boys are holding their new gear. About five or six other folks are milling around the shop. Behind the counter, Stray is dishing out the gold to Jackie Dee. Music plays on a boom box on the counter, the boys' music.
JACKIE DEE: (cont'd) This your music playin'?
BUTCH: You like it, Jackie?!
JACKIE DEE: I'd like it to be over!
Stray pulls out the flute he stole from Mack and begins playing. No sound comes out, but now, the other patrons have become mesmerized by the sound of their music.
BYSTANDER: That is smooth, my man. Real smooth.
BYSTANDER 2: Straight up proper. This group got true potential!
WRECK: Damn, it does sound good! Got a nasty thud to it! Like bullets rippin' into flesh!
Stray doesn't quite know what to say, but bravely volunteers,
STRAY BULLET: See, I wrote that song! I'm a genius! Just think of me as... Mozart with a big dick!
JACKIE DEE: That is kinda' toe-tappin'.
STRAY BULLET: Too bad this flute don't work. I'm gonna keep this piece.
Jackie then pulls out a worthless plastic medallion. In the process, four gold coins fall on the floor.
JACKIE DEE: (giving it to Stray) Yeah, well keep this too. I ain't fencin' no plastic, less it be Visa.
INT. POOL HALL - DAY
By now, most of the patrons have vacated the bar. The Leprechaun hears the flute and gets an image of Jackie Dee's Pawn Shop in his head. He begins to levitate off the floor. The music stops and he falls back to the floor. His zombie girls surround him and help him to his feet. They wear dark shades to hide the light from their eyes.
LEPRECHAUN: In a matter of time, the flute will be mine.
However, the bartender is suspicious.
BARTENDER: Hey! You ain't 'xactly prompt on the tab! Why don't you pay, an' leave?!
LEPRECHAUN: I never welches on me debt, but when I drink, I tend to forget.
BARTENDER: Then pay up, 'for I whup you like a stepchil'!
LEPRECHAUN: (offended) A man of your sorts giving me a whipping?! On the ghost of Jack Sprat, you must be trippin'! (winking at the camera) Never bet against green!
He begins to do a little dance. The zombie girls fall in line behind him as the Lep train leaves the station, and MUSIC begins.
LEPRECHAUN: (singing) I come from the land of Irish Spring.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: In Dublin is where I learned me thing.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Wit' your green self! Wit' your little green self!
LEPRECHAUN: A cobbler by trade, and a drunk by choice!
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: Can anyone here stand Bono's voice?
TRAIN: Wit' your green self. Wit' your little green self!
The Lep dances towards the drunks who dissed him.
LEPRECHAUN: I like a joke and a song well sung!
He jumps onto the bar,
TRAIN: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: But sometimes its best to hold one's tongue.
and reaches into the mouths of the drunks, pulling out their tongues. They flee.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Wit' your green self. Wit' your little green self!
He jumps down and continues dancing.
LEPRECHAUN: Do you know what I say? Do you know what I mean?
TRAIN: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: (to the hooker) 'Cause once you go green, you never get clean!
TRAIN: Get jiggy with it! Get jiggy with it!
The Leprechaun jumps up on a pool table as the music plays on.
The bartender is right behind him.
BARTENDER: Hey! Git off that pool table.
LEPRECHAUN: (still rapping) Will you lighten up for goodness sakes?!
TRAIN: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: And give the little guy a break?!
He grabs the bartender's wrist, snapping it like a twig. The bartender falls to his knees, SCREAMING in great pain.
TRAIN: With your green self. With your little green self.
The Leprechaun takes the gold watch from the severed limb, and begins to rap some more as the bartender agonizes.
LEPRECHAUN: (holding up the watch) Have you got the time for another rhyme?!
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Go Lep! Go Lep!
The Leprechaun then rips off one of his ears, and the bartender SCREAMS in anguish.
LEPRECHAUN: Can you lend an ear, while I drink a beer?!
ZOMBIE GIRLS: With your bad self, with your little bad self!
The Lep then twists the man's arm until it breaks away from his shoulder. The man SCREAMS.
LEPRECHAUN: Is it cause for alarm if I twist your arm?
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Go Lep! Go Lep!
And finally he pushes a pool cue through the man's chest, and the bartender falls over dead.
LEPRECHAUN: Then stick around while the Lep gets down!
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Get jiggy with it! Get jiggy with it!
EXT. STRAY'S RAP STUDIO/APARTMENT - DAY
The boys are arriving back at Stray's place. As they arrive, Kung-Fu Joe is once again getting his ass kicked.
The boys rush out of the car and the bullies flee. As they reach Joe,
KUNG-FU JOE: Perhaps it is time for me to seek new paths to enlightenment. Perhaps, the way of the great Kung-Fu masters is not my way.
BUTCH: I could mix you up some mace, home chop.
POSTMASTER P: Joe, listen to the words 'a Tony Robbins.
STRAY BULLET: What Tony Robbins know 'bout the martial arts?!
WRECK: Them big-ass teeth is lethal!
KUNG-FU JOE: What does the great, horse-toothed philosopher say, Post?
POSTMASTER P: Tony says you got to re-program the mind for success! Eliminate fears and phobias, and open the doors to success.
Stray pulls the medallion from his pocket, along with the gold flute.
STRAY BULLET: Joe, this here is the medallion worn by the first Chinese-Jewish Kung-Fu Grandmaster, Chang Kai Shecky! He was a master 'a close-hand combat and the first martial arts teacher of Confucius. When he wore this medallion, he was invincible.
WRECK: Yeah, I read about him in American History class!
Stray shoots Wreck a look, afraid he's going to ruin the hoax.
BUTCH: He who wears the medallion will achieve inner peace from the harmonious cultivation of mind, body and spirit.
KUNG-FU JOE: You mean, I will kick some serious ass?
STRAY BULLET: Like a drive-by Ninja! And speakin' a' some serious ass, we need to take some a' that extra money an par-tay!
WRECK: Yeah! Gotta hook up! P-p-Poontang!
POSTMASTER P: Yo, now we ain't big-time yet! Ya'll done forgot all about the dream! We outta' be gettin' our mix straight.
STRAY BULLET: Mixin' is 'xactly what I'm talkin' 'bout. You know what I'm sayin?
The boys high-five, except for Post. Party it is.
EXT. MACK-DADDY'S CRIB - DAY
Mack, hand bandaged and bloodied opens his front door.
MACK DADDY: I'm gonna kill them boys and take care 'a that little green freak for good!
INT. PAWN SHOP - DAY
The Leprechaun steers himself to the counter. Jackie isn't quite sure what he's looking at.
JACKIE DEE: I ain't payin' nothin' for Halloween costumes, so you can just trick or treat yo'r little ass on outta' here!
LEPRECHAUN: I'm here to claim my gold and shillings. Now hand it over or there'll be killings!
Jackie eyes the little gnome suspiciously, then goes for a gun under the counter. The Leprechaun leaps up and head butts Jackie, knocking him silly and onto the floor.
The Leprechaun grabs a golf club sitting behind the counter. He is about to strike Jackie in the face, then stops. He looks down to see his four gold shillings on the floor and picks them up,
JACKIE DEE: Thievin' little bastard. What you wanna' rip me off for?!
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) One... two... three... four (pause) Did someone say fore?!
He lines up the club just below Jackie's sac.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) FORE!
He takes a mighty swing of the club. THUD.
JACKIE DEE: AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
LEPRECHAUN: Blarney! Too much club!
He runs over and grabs a tennis racket, then back to Jackie who lingers in terrible pain. As the Leprechaun straddles him,
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Golf just isn't my...
And he whacks Jackie with the steel frame between the eyes, opening a deep crack in his head.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Racket!! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
As a final insult, the Leprechaun rips the gold tooth from Jackie's mouth.
INT. STRAY'S RAP STUDIO/APARTMENT - NIGHT
A party is raging at Stray's. About twenty people crowd the apartment, music blaring, and the boys hoping to get busy. Butch is putting the moves on a rather busty young girl.
Wreck is entertaining the crowd by tossing peanuts into a guest's mouth, who lays on a coffee table. A crowd of on-lookers has gathered around.
WRECK: Harlem Globetrotter shit!
He spins and tosses the peanut behind his back. It arches perfectly into the guest's mouth. Everyone CHEERS.
MALE PARTYGOER: That boy bad! He somethin' else!
Wreck takes a shot glass of whisky and places it in the guest's mouth.
WRECK: I call this off the roof, sixty proof!
He takes aim, tosses the peanut towards the ceiling where it ricochets and splashes into the shot glass. The crowd ROARS.
CUT TO POSTMASTER P, sitting on the staircase, trying to call Matty on the telephone.
POSTMASTER P: Matty, baby, please-- (listens) We got it goin' on now! We got some new shit, we got-- (listens) Now ain't the time for no Tony Robbins shit! He ain't said nothin' 'bout no premature-- (listens) Whaddup wif' that?! A date?! Who you got--! Matty! Matty! Don't you hang up on me, girl!
But she has already hung up. He slams down the phone. Kung-Fu tries to console him.
KUNG-FU JOE: There is a proverb. If you love something, let it go. If it returns to you, it is yours.
POSTMASTER P: Yeah, that shit worked well for O.J.
The DOORBELL RINGS.
CUT TO Stray Bullet. He opens the door, and immediately, Mack Daddy bursts in with his bodyguards.
MACK DADDY: Yo'r asses is mine!
Mack bursts through the living room, knocking everything over in his way. Kung-Fu Joe runs out to confront him. Mack signals one of his bodyguards to take out Joe. A fight ensues and the bodyguard immediately grabs Joe around his neck. Joe sends many quick powerful blows to the man, dropping him to his knees. Both Joe and the on-lookers are surprised at his dominance. Then, he sends a karate chop to the man's neck, and he slowly keels over. Silence, as everyone GASPS at his triumph. Then,
STRAY BULLET: Get Mack!
Stray, Post, Wreck and Butch confront Mack and his remaining bodyguard as party-goers stream out of the apartment.
Stray confronts Mack, giving him a couple of jabs to the face just as Post attacks him low with shots to the gut. Mack hardly feels it, instead he grins--until Wreck sends a punch-bowl crashing into his head and he drops to the ground.
Kung-Fu is busy with the other bodyguard. They trade blows awhile, and eventually the bodyguard gets in a hard shot to Joe's gut. Joe laughs at him.
KUNG-FU JOE: My sister hits harder than you. And she's a girl.
Then he launches a barrage of shots to the head, and stomach. The bodyguard just stands, dazed. Stray walks over and blows on him. The bodyguard falls over. Kung-Fu looks at the medallion.
STRAY BULLET: Damn, Kung-Fu! You throwin' down boy-ee!
KUNG-FU JOE: (not believing it himself) Yes, I'm the man! I did it! The medallion! It is truly magical!
WRECK: Magic?! Black magic! Somethin' ain't right here!
POSTMASTER P: Mack ain't dead! He ain't dead! I shot him and he ain't dead!
KUNG-FU JOE: You shot Mack? What is going on?
STRAY BULLET: I'll explain it to you in the car. We better get the fuck outta' here!
EXT./INT. STRAY'S CAR - NIGHT
The boys are driving along and trying to make sense of the night's events.
KUNG-FU JOE: So you shot two people. That is not good.
WRECK: One a' them wasn't no p-p-people!
BUTCH: That was Mack's ghost! Mack done come back to haunt our ass!
STRAY BULLET: Aw shut, up boy! How someone smart as you be b'lievin' in ghost?!
BUTCH: I told you, there be the physical, and there be the metaphysical. And that was some meta-mutha-fucking physical shit back there!
POSTMASTER P: We never shoulda' broke in Mack's place! (pause) What's going on out front 'a Jackie Dee's?
The boys pull up in front of Jackie Dee's. An ambulance with lights flashing sits in front as well.
POSTMASTER P: Rippin' off Mack was the wrong career decision. He's gonna kill us!
BUTCH: I don't wanna die no virgin!
STRAY BULLET: Shut yo'r scared asses up! We gonna drive to MacKenzie Park and sleep there tonight. Bust some Z's an' figure this shit out tomorrow.
As they pull away, Post spots Matty in the crowd.
POSTMASTER P: It's Matty! Stop the car! Stop the car, Stray!
STRAY BULLET: Fool, you ain't got time for romance!
EXT./INT. STRAY'S CAR - DAY
It is morning. The boys are waking up slowly, except for Postmaster P, still dreaming and thrusting his hips.
POSTMASTER P: Oh, Matty. Yeah, that's right. Uh-huh, I'm almost there baby.
Stray realizes what is going on. He starts to jostle Post.
STRAY BULLET: Yo! Man, wake yo'r ass up! You about to make a nocturnal mess in here!
Post begins to awaken.
POSTMASTER P: (awakening) Damn, we still alive.
WRECK: If we alive, how come it smell like someone died in this mutha-fucker?
KUNG-FU JOE: Butch was farting all night. Someone roll down a window.
STRAY BULLET: Okay, look. We got to stay calm. That rap audition is a few days off. If we can stay alive and win that semifinal, we gon' be in Vegas for the big payoff! One day we in Compton, the next we in Vegas. Problems solved! You know what I'm sayin'?
WRECK: Yeah, we got the gear in the trunk! We keep movin'! We stay one place one night, another place the next. Shoot any mo'fo' who be messin' wid' us!
POSTMASTER P: Who we gon' stay with?! Mack know everybody in this town!
They think a moment.
STRAY BULLET: Fontaine Rivera! You know Mr. Funny Boy ain't gon' mind some male company. You know what I'm sayin'?
BUTCH: I got to get my grub on, man! I can't think when my nitrogen get outta' balance.
WRECK: Mr. Chow's. We got cash! He be hookin' a brotha up!
EXT./INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Stray is pulling off a wad of money as Chow's eyes grow big. Chow anxiously grabs at the money.
STRAY BULLET: Yeah, see now we boys again! It all about the cash!
Chow now anxious to sell them anything. He takes a box of tampons from the shelf.
CHOW: You buy tampons! Two for one! Two for one!
WRECK: All the b-b-bitches I know is knocked up. Where some d-d-donuts?
STRAY BULLET: Yeah, lotta donuts. We gon' be busy for awhile.
CHOW: (as he scampers away) Yes, bery good choice! Bery good choice! Bery fresh!
As Chow disappears, Stray pulls out the flute and begins to play. The boys begin to look around, as though hearing something.
POSTMASTER P: Damn! You hear somethin'?
WRECK: Yeah, like a ringin'! Like when a gun go off in yo'r ear!
BUTCH: A high pitch frequency.
Chow returns with a large jar.
CHOW: Oooh what 'dat sound?! Magic! Put Chow in trance! Hypnotic!
STRAY BULLET: I was messin' wif' this flute, but it don't make no noise.
POSTMASTER P: Chow eat so many dogs, now he hear like one!
Chow hands the jar to Post. The boys looks at the jar, but . . . these aren't donuts.
POSTMASTER P: Chow we said donuts, man! Not DOG NUTS! Man, take this!
He shoves the jar back at Chow.
CHOW: (scampering away) Speak Englese! Speak Englese! You have Chow run 'round like clazy man!
WRECK: Aw man, forgit him! We get our shit somewhere else.
The boys start to leave, but Chow is not done. He rushes back in.
CHOW: You do rap video yet? You do video? Chow dance! Chow bust a funky groove!
STRAY BULLET: Naw, we ain't done that video yet, Chow. I don't think we need no talent, know what I'm sayin'?
The boys turn to leave but Chow is aggressive, and stops them.
CHOW: No wait! Chow know many dances! Chow do da' funky peasant! 'Dey call Chow 'Yellow Elvis' in Chow homeland.
Chow demonstrates a stupid, funky dance for the boys. But the boys aren't buying his services.
CHOW: (cont'd) Chow get down hard wit' his bad self! Chow groove you long time! Chow no fake 'da funk! Chow keep it real!
But it is not to be, and they leave.
CHOW: (cont'd) Chow got 'da music in me!
INT. POOL HALL - DAY
The Leprechaun and his zombie girls have taken over the Golden Cue. He dances on a pool table to loud music, swigging beer and smoking a joint. The zombie girls dance with him.
LEPRECHAUN: I'm the king of the world!
He hears the flute and gets an image of Mr. Chow's convenience store.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) The flute is calling, and I must go, but we'll be balling (looking at his new gold watch he stole) in an hour or so! He, he, he, he.
EXT. FONTAINE RIVERA'S HOUSE - DAY
Stray, Post, Wreck, Kung-Fu Joe and Butch are standing at Fontaine's front door. They are nervous, looking around. Stray rings the doorbell.
STRAY BULLET: Come on, Fontaine.
After a bit, FONTAINE appears at the door in all of his gay glory, wearing only pink slippers, a pink boa and a pink G-string. He is a tall and effiminate Hispanic man.
FONTAINE: Well if it isn't Stray Bullet, Postmaster P, Wreck, Joe and Butch.
He holds out his hand for the boys to kiss. The boys ignore the gesture.
POSTMASTER P: Damn Fontaine! Ain't you got no regular clothes?
FONTAINE: You don't like my look?
POSTMASTER P: Boy, you look like a brown flamingo!
FONTAINE: I got my own personal style. Just like that cute little Snoop Doggy Dogg.
STRAY BULLET: More like, pink doggy dick.
FONTAINE: Oh, stop. Well don't just stand outside all day. Come in.
