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Leprechaun in the Hood Late Script Part 2 |
Other stuff: Email - Guestbook |
3rd Draft, Blue Shooting Script
Written by Douglas L. Hall for Trimark Pictures
[The movie credits give additional screenplay credit to Jon Huffman, who participated in this version of the script, as well as giving story credits to William Wells, Alan Reynolds, and Rob Spera]
Deleted scenes and the more interesting variations from the finished movie are marked in red.
18 EXT. MACK'S CRIB -- NIGHT
Smoke and dust fill the wretched office.
Seemingly miraculously, Mack Daddy is slowly stirring his way back to consciousness. As he regains his senses.
MACK DADDY: (rubbing his chest) Damn...
He looks down at his chest. He pulls on a chain with a gold piece, and looks at it. Embedded in the gold piece are two bullets.
Still lying on his back, he looks around to survey the damage.
MACK DADDY: Damn!
He hears an ODD SOUND. Suddenly, a disembodied, gnarled little hand scampers across the floor, disappearing into the dust. Then an arm. More SCAMPERING SOUNDS from the dust and smoke.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) What the fuck--
Mack sits up, looks around. Across the room, out of the dust and smoke, the fully-reassembled Leprechaun steps towards, stretching and leering.
LEPRECHAUN: A lot of time has come and passed. I see you're still a big, fat ass! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
MACK DADDY: Oh, shit!
He pounces on Mack and they struggle mightily. Mack, in great pain, throws the Leprechaun against the wall, stunning him momentarily.
Mack stumbles to his feet, and out the door, terrified of the Lep's powers. The Lep shakes his head, getting his bearings. He moves to the window, where he sees Mack Daddy running off in the distance.
LEPRECHAUN: You can run, but you can't hide! You stole me gold -- I'll not let that slide! Hee-heeee-hee!
19 EXT. GOLDEN PARROT -- NIGHT
The Golden Parrot. Over the entrance is an old, large, wrought-iron cage. In the cage is a dead rat, spray-painted yellow, with feathers glued to it. The cage is held in place by old clothesline, tied off to a light pole.
People go in and out of this neighborhood dive. Hookers hang out front, drunks stumble down the sidewalk.
20 INT. GOLDEN PARROT -- NIGHT
In a small hallway in back, leading to the bathrooms, Mack Daddy talks frantically on a pay phone. He keeps one eye on the crowd in the bar.
MACK DADDY: (into phone) Set yo' ass down here, now, mo'fo'! Brings the car! And bring guns! Lotsa guns!
He pauses, peering out into the crowd, he thinks he sees... A FLASH OF GREEN AND TWO SHINING EYES! Mack Daddy freezes, looks again.
The crowd parts, more this time, and there's nothing there. Mack breathes a sigh, and shudders.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) (into phone) Big, giant, ugly guns! Hurry the fuck up!
21 INT. MEN'S ROOM/GOLDEN PARROT -- NIGHT
A couple are stand-up-fucking behind the door, as a panicked Mack Daddy flings the door open, smashing the couple against the wall.
MACK DADDY: Everybody out now!
Instantly, a toilet flushes and one of the stall doors opens and a guy runs out, pulling pants up as he goes. The fucking couple hurry out, stuck together, her legs around his waist.
Mack hurries into the just-vacated stall, and locks the door. He notices the gold ring on his trigger finger.
MACK DADDY: Shit!
He tugs at the ring, repeatedly, but it won't come off. Finally he sits on the toilet, spent.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) Got to be cool...
Just then, from the other stall: THE LONGEST, GROSSEST, WETTEST, FART SOUNDS in history. With a couple of little squirts at the end, for good measure.
Mack is instantly suspicious. The smell hits him, and he nearly pukes, but leans over and tries to see under the stall wall. There's nothing there.
He quietly opens the stall door. WE SEE the Lep hanging on the outside of the door, but Mack doesn't see him.
Mack sees nothing, closes the stall door, sits on the toilet, and lights a doobie.
LEPRECHAUN: (O.S.) Looking for someone, laddie?
Mack looks up to see the Leprechaun peering over the stall door. The Lep somersaults over the door.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
The Leprechaun looks at the glowing blunt, curious. Mack sees his interest and offers him a toke. The Leprechaun accepts. He inhales. He likes it. He inhales again.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) A friend with weed is a friend indeed!
Another toke and the blunt is completely gone.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) But a friend with gold is the best I'm told. (pause) Knock, knock.
MACK DADDY: Who's there?
LEPRECHAUN: Gold.
MACK DADDY: Gold who?
LEPRECHAUN: Goldfinger.
He suddenly reaches out, grabbing Mack's hand, twisting Mack's digit until it breaks off.
MACK DADDY: Aaaaaggggghhhhh!!
As he falls to the floor in excruciating pain, the Lep goes through his pockets, delighted to find even more joints, and a wad of cash.
LEPRECHAUN: You'll find me gold in record time, or suffer a bloody, heinous crime.
Mack runs out, holding his bloody hand.
22 INT. GOLDEN PARROT -- NIGHT
The Lep comes back into the bar, stoned, a little wobbly. He has a lit joint. He inhales once, and the whole thing is gone.
LEPRECHAUN: The blunt is dope, this place is hype--
HIS POV: A little out of focus, he watches the perfect ass of a WAITRESS approach.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) (to the ass) ...Bring the booty right here, and I'll lay me some pipe!
And the waitress passes, ignoring him. Another WAITRESS'S fine stuff goes by.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) By my height, don't be fooled. I pack plenty of tool.
Ignored, again.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Hmmm.
He pulls out the wad of Mack Daddy's cash, and fans it. Suddenly, the faces of three fine waitresses appear in front of him.
LEPRECHAUN: I hate to resort so soon to magic, but I haven't been laid in so long, it's tragic!
Through the following, he touches each waitress's forehead.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) (to a waitress) I've got a tip, it's long and green, ask me nice, I'll be your love machine!
Their eyes begin to glow, and they fawn over the Lep, their new master. They are zombies.
The Lep saunters over the bar, The Zombie Flygirls following, their jobs forgotten.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Four babes for every gnome -- I like this place -- I'll make it my home. (to the bartender) An Irish coffee to stir me cockles!
The BARTENDER looks at him like he's crazy.
BARTENDER: We got three drinks. Colt 45 in the bottle, Colt 45 on tap, Colt 45 in the can. Which one you want?
LEPRECHAUN: One of each to quench me thirst. (to the ZFG's) Y'know, lassies -- A night with a Leprechaun'll bring you luck, 'specially if it's spent in a four-way f-- Ah, well. No need to be crude, then, is there?
He laughs as the ZFG's envelop him.
EXT. STREET -- NIGHT
The boys talk near Stray's parked car. Emotions in the car are very high. Post paces, very upset.
STRAY BULLET: That little Pixie mutha-fucker came right at us! What the fuck was it?
BUTCH: That stone Leprechaun... it came to life! Soon as Post took that necklace from around his neck, he came to life!
STRAY BULLET: Man, you trippin or what?
BUTCH: I've read about such strange happenings. There's the physical, and there's metaphysical!
POSTMASTER P: (he can't take it, anymore) Both o' ya -- shut the fuck up!
STRAY BULLET: Post! Be cool, man!
POSTMASTER P: Be cool?! We in some shit!
STRAY BULLET: Man, nobody got to know nothin'!
POSTMASTER P: We jus' killed some motherfuckers, Stray!
STRAY BULLET: Damn right we did! And we might slide, if you calm the fuck down!
POSTMASTER P: (moves into Stray) Man, is that all you about? Getting away wit' it?
STRAY BULLET: Boy, you best get outta my face!
BUTCH: (interrupting) Hey y'all -- chill! We all in this shit.
Post and Stray stand down.
STRAY BULLET: Nobody be missin' Mack Daddy. And that little Leprechaun... no mutha' fuckin' harm, no mutha' fuckin' foul. You know what I'm sayin'?
Post shakes his head, and walks off.
STRAY BULLET: (cont'd) (as he gets into the car) We meet at Jackie Dee's tomorrow! Straighten all our shit out!
SOUND OF STRAY'S CAR PEELING AWAY.
Post stops after a moment, adjacent to a vacant lot. He pulls the gold necklace from his pocket, looks at it, and throws it into the lot.
24 INT. GOLDEN PARROT -- DAY
The party's been going on all night. The place is empty, except for the Lep and the girls, partying at a table in the rear, near a small stage, set with microphones.
The Bartender, who's been asleep on the bar, is waking up.
BARTENDER: Hey! You ain't 'xactly prompt on the tab! An' you done chased my customers away! Why don't you pay, an' then leave?!
LEPRECHAUN: I never welches on me debt, but when I drink I tend to forget.
BARTENDER: Then pay up, 'fore I whup you like a stepchil'!
LEPRECHAUN: (offended) A man of your sorts giving me a whipping? On the ghost of Jack Sprat, you must be trippin'!
BARTENDER: We'll see who's trippin'!
The bartender jumps down and grabs a chair. He moves quickly toward the Lep, to hit him with it. As he raises it:
LEPRECHAUN: I guess we will!
The Lep waves a finger, and the chair immediately falls to the floor right in front of the oncoming bartender, causing him to trip, flying over the chair. He lands near the stage, in a heap.
The Lep and the ZFG's laugh, as the bartender pulls himself up.
BARTENDER: Ugly little pissant!
He grabs a bottle from a nearby table. He raises it, to use as a weapon, but then brings his hand down and looks at it -- the bottle is gone.
LEPRECHAUN: If you're confused, my little pup -- why not ask yourself, 'Whassup?"
BARTENDER: Huh?
The bottle falls from above, smashing on his head, drenching and cutting him. Dazed, he stumbles to the stage. He picks up a microphone on a stand, to use as a club.
BARTENDER: (cont'd) Kill you, shithead!
LEPRECHAUN: (to the girls) Sometimes a really nasty chap...
He waves a finger. The microphone cord stretches and plugs itself into an outlet, as the bartender approaches.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) Just needs a tiny little zap!
The bartender gets an electric shock, which sends him reeling around the bar. Finally, he manages to let go of the mike, and he falls onto a table, on his back, whipped.
BARTENDER: (cont'd) (to the Lep) What are you?!
LEPRECHAUN: He-he-he-he! I'm glad you asked!
He grabs the mike and begins to do a little dance. The zombie girls fall in line behind him as the Lep train leaves the station, and MUSIC begins.
LEPRECHAUN: (cont'd) I come from the land of Irish Spring.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: In Dublin is where I learned me thing.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: wit' your green self! wit' your little green self!
LEPRECHAUN: A cobbler by trade, and a drunk by choice!
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: Can anyone here stand Bono's voice?
TRAIN: Wit' your green self! Wit' your little green self!
LEPRECHAUN: I like a joke and a song well sung!
He jumps onto the bar, points to the ceiling over the bartender, where a chandelier with spikes hangs.
TRAIN: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: But sometimes it's best to hold one's tongue!
He waves a finger and the chandelier falls onto the screaming bartender.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: wit' your green self! wit' your little green self!
He jumps down and continues dancing.
LEPRECHAUN: Do you know what I say? Do you know what I mean?
TRAIN: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: (to the hooker) 'Cause once you go green you never get clean!
The bartender struggles to yank the chandelier off his body.
TRAIN: Get jiggy with it! Get jiggy with it!
The bartender screams as he pulls the chandelier off, leaving bleeding spike marks all over him.
LEPRECHAUN: (still rapping) Will you lighten up for goodness sakes?
TRAIN: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: And give the little guy a break?!
TRAIN: With you green self! With your little green self!
The bartender struggles to get up. He's had enough, and heads toward the door.
LEPRECHAUN: (holding up the watch) Have you got the time for another rhyme?
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: Can you lend an ear, while I drink a beer?
The Lep points to a neon sign, shaped like an arrow, hanging over the bar. It begins to tremble.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: With you bad self! With you little bad self!
LEPRECHAUN: Is it cause for alarm if I twist your arm?
The neon arrow sign breaks free from its perch. The bartender, stumbling, is nearly to the door.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Go Lep! Go Lep!
LEPRECHAUN: Then stick around while the Lep gets down!
The Lep waves his finger, and the arrow sign flies straight at the bartender, impaling him.
As he dies, the arrow sign lights up the spike holes in the bartender's body.
ZOMBIE GIRLS: Get jiggy with it! Get jiggy with it!
25 INT. PAWN SHOP -- DAY
Jackie Dee is running around the pawn shop, straightening things up a bit. Jackie isn't wearing any pants, just boxer shorts. The boys enter, Stray carrying a garbage bag filled with gold. Post just mopes and follows the others around.
JACKIE DEE: Uh-oh. What you boys got now? Stevie Wonder's drivers license?
His joke cracks him up.
STRAY BULLET: You may as well start draggin' out the best audio gear you got in this sorry mutha-fucker. You hear?
BUTCH: Where y'or pants, Jackie?
JACKIE DEE: Everything's for sale at Jackie Dee's! Now how you gon' pay for this audio gear?
Stray opens the bag of gold under Jackie's nose.
STRAY BULLET: Let's negotiate home biscuit.
MOMENTS LATER:
The boys are checking out some audio gear in new boxes.
JACKIE DEE: Now here is my prime stock.
STRAY BULLET: Uh-huh. How much for this prime equipment? We need the gear and operatin' funds.
JACKIE DEE: Hmmmmm. You drive a hard bargain, junior. I give ya' all this here, and five dollars for everything in that bag.
The boys look at each other, look at the boxes of equipment, look at each other, and nod their approval.
STRAY BULLET: What about the warranty?
JACKIE DEE: Warranty?! You ain't gettin' no warranty! You be lucky if you don't get a warrant -- as in arrest!
MOMENTS LATER:
The boys are holding their new gear. About five or six other folks are milling around the shop. Behind the counter, Stray is dishing out the gold to Jackie Dee. The boys' music plays on a boom box on the counter. No one's paying attention.
Post pulls out the flute he stole from Mack and starts playing. One-by-one, the other patrons become mesmerized. Even Jackie Dee and the other guys look up, not quite sure what they hear, but wanting to hear more of it.
Post stops playing, unaware of the others' reaction. He examines the flute for a moment, then puts it to his mouth, again.
26 INT GOLDEN PARROT -- DAY
The place is wrecked, the bartender lays dead. The ZFG's sit in three chairs, next to each other, the Lep lying across them. The girls wear shades to shield their zombie eyes from the light. They massage the Lep, and pour beer down his throat.
Suddenly the Lep gets an image of Post playing the flute at Jackie Dee's. He sits up.
LEPRECHAUN: He-he-he-he! In a matter of time, the flute will be mine!
27 INT. PAWN SHOP -- DAY
Post finishes playing the flute.
POSTMASTER P: Too bad this flute don't work. I'm gonna keep it, anyway.
He turns to see everyone in the place staring at him, as if they'd been enjoying the music.
POSTMASTER P: (cont'd) What--? (no answer, as the other boys come out of their reverie) We done here?
28 EXT. BUTCH'S RAP STUDIO/APARTMENT -- DAY
The boys, in Stray's clunker car, pull up in front of Butch's place. Stray is counting the money they got from Jackie Dee.
STRAY BULLET: Check it out, my brothers! Hey -- you know what we need to do -- we need to take some of this extra money and par-tay!
BUTCH: Yeah! Gotta hook up! Poontang!
STRAY BULLET: Whatchoo know about some poontang?
BUTCH: I know I better finally be getting me some, now we got some bread...
POSTMASTER P: Yo, now we ain't big-time yet! Ya'll done forget all about the dream! We oughta' be gettin' our mix straight!
STRAY BULLET: Mixin' is 'xactly what I'm talkin' 'bout. Party like a big dog! You know what I'm sayin?
Butch and Stray high-five. Party it is.
29 INT. MACK DADDY'S CRIB -- DAY
Mack, hand bandaged and bloodied, opens his front door. His bodyguard followed him in.
MACK DADDY: Party's over for them stealin motherfuckers! I'll kill 'em all -- slow and painful. Then I'm 'o' take care a' that little green freak for good!
He looks around the messed up place, searching frantically for a moment.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) Damn! They got the flute! We got to get it back, or this party's over too! (looking at his boys) Don't stand there like a retard! Get back out there, an' find them cocksuckers!
30 INT. PAWN SHOP -- DAY
Jackie Dee is entertaining another offer from someone on the phone.
JACKIE DEE: (into the phone) M.C. Hammer's food stamps?! "Can't touch this" Hammer?!... He dropped 'em in the Piggly-Wiggly?... Tell ya' what -- you still got that piece o' Holyfield's ear in yo' fridge?
The Lep enters the store.
JACKIE DEE: (cont'd) ... I give ya fo' dolla's fo' the ear and the stamps... Take it or leave it -- gotta go bro.
Jackie hangs up. The Leprechaun moves to the counter. Jackie isn't quite sure what he's looking at.
JACKIE DEE: I ain't payin' nothin' for Halloween costumes, so you can just trick or treat y'or little ass on outta' here!
LEPRECHAUN: I'm here to claim me gold and shillings. Now hand it over or there'll be killings!
JACKIE DEE: Boy don' make me laugh! Try to rob Jackie Dee? (reaching under the counter) What gang you with -- (pulling up a gun) The Shrimps?
The Lep grabs a samurai sword hanging on the wall. He does a quick Bruce Lee-like kata with the sword. winding up with its tip at Jackie's throat.
LEPRECHAUN: A little trick from old Hong Kong. Now, give back my gold, you might live long.
He nudges the sword tip, and a drop of blood appears at Jackie's throat.
JACKIE DEE: Oh -- you wantin' gold! Why'nt you say so, brother?
MOMENTS LATER:
A SACK ON THE COUNTER, as Jackie finishes putting the gold in it.
LEPRECHAUN: (agitated) The flute! My magic flute!
He puts the sword to Jackie's throat, again.
JACKIE DEE: I'm tellin' ya -- there ain't no goddamn flute!
The Lep snarls. He rears back to kill Jackie. Jackie cringes. Suddenly, the Lep stops, his attention drawn to a photo of a woman on the wall.
LEPRECHAUN: Mmmmmmmm. And who might this choice morsel be? The lovely wife of Jackie Dee?
JACKIE DEE: (offended) What about her?
The Lep thinks a moment.
LEPRECHAUN: There is one way to spare your life -- give me a night with your bo-dacious wife.
JACKIE DEE: An' let you kill her too? Kiss my ass!
LEPRECHAUN: On this I pledge my Leprechaun's oath -- for a romp with that fox, I'll spare you both!
Jackie Dee thinks quickly.
JACKIE DEE: Yeah? You won' kill either one of us?
LEPRECHAUN: (waving the sword in Jackie's face) Cross my heart an hope to die, pull a sword out of your eye. Where can I find her?
JACKIE DEE: Here -- I write the address.
He hands it to the Lep. It says, "Compton Cemetery."
The Lep looks at the paper, frowning. Jackie bursts out laughing.
JACKIE DEE: (cont'd) Ha! You as dumb as you is tiny! My wife died fi'teen years ago! Ha ha ha! You want a piece o' that -- he'p yo'self, brother!
The Lep flashes anger.
JACKIE DEE: (cont'd) You swore!
The Lep picks up his sack. He looks at something behind Jackie Dee. Jackie turns.
There, in the doorway to the back-room, stands his wife -- young, beautiful, smiling.
JACKIE DEE: (cont'd) Baby!
He turns back to the Lep, but the Lep is gone. His wife holds out her arms to Jackie. He can't resist -- he moves to her.
JACKIE DEE: (cont'd) You look so beautiful! Wha's goin' on?
She puts her arms around his neck. She pulls him to her. She kisses him, tenderly at first, then with growing passion.
JACKIE DEE: (cont'd) I've missed you so much!
Lost in her, he squeezes her, kissing back.
FROM BEHIND HIM, we see him move for her face, and down her neck with kisses, REVEALING the decayed, disfigured, skeletal remains of someone long dead.
He moves back up to her and sees her for what she really is.
Jackie Dee screams in fear and revulsion. He backs quickly away. He turns to run out, and trips. He falls onto the samurai sword, left by the Lep, impaling himself.
31 EXT. BUTCH'S RAP STUDIO/APARTMENT/ROOF -- NIGHT
From the roof, WE CAN SEE that a party is raging at Butch's. About twenty people crowd the apartment, music blaring.
BY THE WINDOW, out on the roof, Post is on a cordless phone, listening anxiously.
POSTMASTER P: Matty, pick up! (as if the phone has been answered) Yo, Matty, I -- who this? (listening) Lonnie Cochran? Lonnie Cochran?! What the fuck you doin' there? (listening) This is Postmaster P, motherfuck-- Hello? Hello? (slamming the phone down) Damn!!!
32 EXT. BUTCH'S ROOF -- NIGHT
SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE. A HELICOPTER NEARBY.
Post sits on the far end of the roof, quietly contemplating.
STRAY'S VOICE: (OS) Post...
Post looks up to see Stray and Butch coming toward him. They each have a beer -- Stray has an extra one he hands to Post.
STRAY BULLET: Ya vanished, man.
POSTMASTER P: (interrupting) Ya'll -- this ain't right! (they look at him) None o' this! We partying wit money we robbed from a motherfucker we killed! I killed!
STRAY BULLET: Ain't nobody sorry Mack Daddy dead.
Butch moves off, stands at the roof edge, watching the city streets below.
POSTMASTER P: We was gon' be different -- rappers wit a positive message! Gon' be role models for younger brothers!
STRAY BULLET: Yo, Post. We can still put out the message--
POSTMASTER P: How, Stray? What kinda message we be puttin out now? Do the right thing -- but if you wanna dust a brother and steal his shit, it's cool, long as he a bad motherfucker nobody likes?
STRAY BULLET: He was a bad motherfucker, Post! I'm glad Mack Daddy dead!
POSTMASTER P: So what -- we just thugs now? Got to take it to make it? Bi'ness in the hood?
Stray has no answer.
POSTMASTER P: (cont'd) If that's all we about I don' wan' do this shit no more. I just go be some burger-flipper, like Matty wanted...
Post starts for the door.
STRAY BULLET: Yo, Post -- ain't like we planned that shit at Macks. It jus' got crazy in there. But it's over. Things be different now -- you'll see.
Post stops, looks at Stray.
STRAY BULLET: (cont'd) (crossing his heart) I swear!
Post turns for the door, just as it bursts open! Mack is there, gun in his bandaged hand, with his bodyguard behind him, also packing.
BUTCH: Oh, shit!!!
Mack advances on the boys as they back up.
MACK DADDY: Yo'r asses is mine!
He aims the gun straight at Post.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) Shoot me with my own goddamn gun! Steal my shit! Bus' up my place!
The boys reach the edge of the roof -- there's nowhere else to go. Mack raises his gun, preparing to fire. The boys step onto the roof ledge, balancing precariously.
BOYS: No, man!... Please don't!... We sorry!
MACK DADDY: (stops) You can jump or you can die right here, motherfuckers! But firs', you gon' tell me one thing. Where's my flute?
The boys freeze -- that's not the question they were expecting. They look at each other.
BUTCH: Huh?
MACK DADDY: My flute, goddammit!! My gold fuckin' flute!!
The boys are at a loss. They just stare at him. Then Post realizes... He touches his pants pocket, instinctively -- where he put the flute.
STRAY BULLET: Man, we don' know nothin' bout no flute!
MACK DADDY: You think I'm fuckin' around here?
Mack aims the gun.
Oops -- he forgets he has no trigger finger. Nothing happens when he should be squirting lead.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) Shit!!
He painfully adjusts his hand, so his third finger is on the trigger.
The guys look at each other, making a quick decision.
BOYS: Jump!!!!
They do -- right off the edge.
33 EXT. BUTCH'S RAP STUDIO/APARTMENT -- NIGHT
BOYS: (as they fall) SHIIIIIIIIT!!!!
They land in a dumpster full of trash. Garbage explodes everywhere.
As they scramble out, Mack and his bodyguard appear at the roof's edge above.
MACK DADDY: (screaming at the boys) Goddamn!!!!!
The boys run down the street toward Stray's car.
MACK DADDY: (cont'd) I'll find you, motherfuckers! Ain' no place you can hide!!!!
34 EXT. EMPTY BUILDING PARKING LOT -- NIGHT
The boys, in Stray's car, pull into an abandoned building's lot, and screech to a halt. Pandemonium in the car. Even from a distance. WE HEAR THEM HOLLERING INSIDE THE CAR.
STRAY BULLET'S VOICE: Shit!! Fuck!! He almost clipped our asses!!
POSTMASTER P'S VOICE: (a mixture of fear and relief) Mack ain't dead! Motherfucker's 'live!
BUTCH: He ain't 'live! That was Mack's ghost! Done come back to haunt our ass!
STRAY BULLET: Aw shut up boy! How someone smart as you be b'lievin in ghost?!
BUTCH: I told you, there be the physical, and there be the metaphysical. An that was some meta-mutha-fucking physical shit back there.
POSTMASTER P: Y'all shut the fuck up!! I got to think! (to Stray) Drive, man!
The car takes off.
35 EXT. PAWN SHOP -- NIGHT
An ambulance sits in front of Jackie Dee's, its lights flashing. A small crowd has gathered.
INSIDE STRAY'S CAR: The boys see the lights and the crowd. They slow to a stop, across the street, and watch quietly from their car, as Jackie is carried on a gurney from their car, his face is exposed.
INSIDE THE CAR:
POSTMASTER P: Damn! Somebody killed Jackie Dee!
BUTCH: This is some fucked-up night. Evil forces loose in the hood.
STRAY BULLET: Shut up wit' that bullshit, man! We gotta go someplace quiet, spend the night. Figure this shit out.
POSTMASTER P: MacKenzie Park.
Stray puts the car into drive.
36 EXT./INT. STRAY'S CAR -- NIGHT
They pull up to the park.
STRAY BULLET: Now, that rap audition's a few days off. We just got to stay alive and win that semifinal, we gon' be in Vegas for the big payoff! One day we in Compton, next we in Vegas. Problems solved! You know what I'm sayin'?
BUTCH: Yeah! We keep our gear wit' us and keep movin'! We stay a different place each night.
Post has the flute in his hand.
POSTMASTER P: I wish I never heard about that audition. An' who we gon' stay with?! Mack know everybody in this town!
They think a moment.
STRAY BULLET: Fontaine Rivera! You know Mr. Funny Boy ain't gon' mind some male company! You know what I'm sayin'?
POSTMASTER P: I hope we live that long...
STRAY BULLET: (looking around) We safe here... for now...
It's very quiet and very dark.
Suddenly, a big mangy tomcat jumps on the hood of the car and hisses at them, scaring them shitless!
POSTMASTER P/STRAY BULLET/BUTCH: FUCK!!!!!
The cat jumps off. The boys begin to breathe again.
STRAY BULLET: Just a cat, man. Damn, y'all jumpy!
AS WE PULL BACK FROM THE CAR, the boys continue to talk.
POSTMASTER P'S VOICE: Yo' ass jump 'bout a mile.
STRAY BULLET'S VOICE: Mo'fo' didn't scare me -- ain' 'fraid no cat...
BUTCH'S VOICE: Y'all hungry? I'm hungry.
STRAY BULLET'S VOICE: We stop at Chow's in the morning -- hook up wit' some food.
POSTMASTER P'S VOICE: Where that cat go? Chow be lovin that shit...
They laugh.
37 EXT./INT. CONVENIENCE STORE -- NIGHT
ON A WAD OF MONEY as Stray pulls bills off. Chow's eyes grow big. He anxiously grabs at the money.
STRAY BULLET: Yeah, see now we boys again! It all about the cash!
Chow's now anxious to sell them anything. He takes a box of tampons from the shelf.
CHOW: You buy tampons! Two for one! Two for one!
BUTCH: Man, where some donuts?
STRAY BULLET: Yeah, we hungry, Chow. Lotsa donuts. We gon' be busy for a while.
CHOW: (as he scampers away) Yes, bery good choice! Bery good choice! Bery fresh!
STRAY BULLET: Gimme three dozen of them bad boys, Chow!
As Chow disappears, Post pulls out the flute and begins to play. Butch and Stray look at him, mesmerized.
Chow returns with a large jar.
CHOW: Ooh, what 'dat sound? Magic! Put Chow in trance! Hypnotic!
POSTMASTER P: I was messin' wif' this flute.
Chow hands the jar to Stray. The boys look at the jar, but... these aren't donuts.
STRAY BULLET: Chow we said donuts, man! Not DOG NUTS! Man, take this!
He shoves the jar back at Chow.
CHOW: (scampering away) Speak Englese! Speak Englese! You have Chow run 'round like crazy man! What I look like?! Dry cleana?!
BUTCH: Aw man, forgit him! We get our shit somewhere else.
The boys start to leave, but Chow is not done. He rushes back in.
CHOW: You do rap video yet? You do video? Chow dance! Chow dance! Chow bust a funky groove!
STRAY BULLET: Naw, we ain't done that video yet, Chow. I don't think we need no talent, know what I'm sayin'?
The boys turn to leave but Chow is aggressive, and stops them.
CHOW: No wait! Chow know many dances! Chow do da' funky peasant! 'Dey call Chow "Yellow Elvis" in Chow homeland.
Chow demonstrates a stupid, funky dance for the boys. But the boys aren't buying his services.
CHOW: (cont'd) Chow get down hard wit' his bad self! Chow groove you long time! Chow no fake 'da funk! Chow keep it real!
But it is not to be, and they leave.
CHOW: Chow got 'da music in me!
38 EXT. FONTAINE RIVERA'S HOUSE -- DUSK
Stray, Post and Butch stand at Fontaine's front door. The screen door is a metal security door. The boys are nervous, looking around. Stray rings the doorbell.
POSTMASTER P: You sure we wasn't followed?
STRAY BULLET: Man, we been drivin' circles all day! Somebody's on our ass, I'd 'a seen em! Come on, Fontaine!
After a bit, FONTAINE appears at the door in all of his gay glory, wearing only pink slippers, a pink boa, and a pink G-string. He is a tall and effeminate Hispanic man.
FONTAINE: Well if it isn't Stray Bullet, Postmaster P, and Butch.
He unlocks the security door with a key, from the inside, and opens the door. He holds out his hand for the boys to kiss. The boys ignore the gesture.
POSTMASTER P: Damn Fontaine! Ain't you got no regular clothes?
FONTAINE: You don't like my look?
POSTMASTER P: Boy, you look like a brown flamingo!
FONTAINE: I got my own personal style. Just like that cute little Snoop Doggy Dogg.
STRAY BULLET: More like, pink doggy dick.
FONTAINE: Oh, stop. Well don't just stand outside all day. Come in.
