Connie's Warwick Davis Fanpage and Leprechaun Center

Lep Series
Rhymes
Leprechaun 1 Rhymes

"Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won't live through the night!"

"This old Lep, he played one. He played pogo on his lung!"

"I got you in a bear trap....Gonna make you shut your yap! Got you in a bear trap....You look like a stupid sap!"

"Diddely diddely dee, a Leprechaun is me!"

"Curse this well that me soul shall dwell, till I find me magic that breaks me spell."

Leprechaun 1 Deleted Rhymes

The pre-production script called for more rhymes. Here are the ones that didn't make it into the final cut, or appeared in significantly different form:

"I'm a little guy who's short and stout....here is my handle and here is my pouch....When I get steamed up then I shout....tip me over and pour me gold out." [In his lair at the beginning of the movie]

"A pot of gold that belongs to me....Give it back, it's mine, you see!" [Confronting Mrs. O'Grady]

"Pretty rainbow in the sky....Y' got me gold at the end, says I!" [Following the rainbow to where the gold was hidden, and arriving a little too late]

"This old lep, he played one....He played pogo stick on his lung. With a squish-squash, paddy wack, I just smashed his head....This old man is surely dead!" [Variation of the pogo-stick rhyme]

"Hush little baby, don't say a word....Gimme my gold for a mockingbird..." [To Tory at the well]

"One two, buckle my shoe....three four, they're no more....five six, get their licks.... seven eight, it's their fate....nine ten, to death I'll send!" [Getting ready to set the house on fire]

Leprechaun 2 Rhymes

"Scream as you may, scream as you might. If you try to escape you'll be dead on this night!"

"She sneezes once, she sneezes twice. She'll be me bride when she sneezes thrice!"

"The moment the lass is married to me, then you my slave shall be set free!"

"Sit back, me friend, you may feel some pain. 'Tis a pity I forgot me novocaine!"

"Spin, spin, me little guide. Point the way to me fresh young bride!"

"The vision before you appears to be true, but a Leprechaun's magic fools humans like you!"

(Repeat) "She sneezes once, she sneezes twice. She'll be me bride when she sneezes thrice!"

"I've searched this fair land far and wide. At last I've got me a Leprechaun bride!"

"Something new, something old. Let's be together on Leprechaun gold!"

"I've searched this house for me gold shilling. The fool who holds it is due for a killing!"

"Drink what you want, drink what you're able. If you're drinkin' with me you'll be under the table!"

"Pour all you want....pour all you can. You won't beat me....'cause I'm a Leprecan!....Chaun. Hahaha."

Morty: "You thought you were fast, you thought you were sporty. You thought you were clever, but not as clever as Morty!"

"You may think this line is getting old, but believe me son, I want me gold!"

"Cry as you may, cry as you might. It's gonna be one hell of a wedding night!"

Leprechaun 3 Rhymes

"I'm a Leprechaun, me lad, and you're a greedy thief. For trying to steal me gold I'll be giving you some grief!"

"I think I'll whack you in the head, a dozen times until you're dead!"

"This place, 'tis unknown, so I'll leave it here. Me own savings and loan! I have nothing to fear."

"If you're gonna linger, I'll give you the finger!"

"There was an old man of Madras,
Whose balls were made of fine brass.
So in stormy weather
They both clanged together,
And sparks flew out of his ass!"

"I told you a terrible lie! And now you're going to die!"

"With all this killing, I've lost me shilling!"

"Lovely golden palaces completely full of riches. I'll rip 'em off and rob 'em blind, those dirty sons of bitches!"

"A lucky sign! The gold inside will soon be mine."

"A little token of my esteem. It is exactly what it seems. Made fresh daily at exactly nine o'clock. It comes from my shillelagh. You can keep it in a crock."

"This is my kind of place, crooked and sleazy. Stealing gold from humans is awfully easy."

"Now, me boyo, I smell me shilling. Tell me where it is or there'll be another killing!"

"It belongs to me, this gold I smell. Whoever's got it's going to hell!"

Scott:"There once was a lady of Totten,
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastries and cakes,
But lived upon penis au gratin."

"Feeling sick? Stub your toe? Call this lawyer. I'll fix your woe."

"Casino owner dies, in a bed of lies!"

"You'll get what's due, when I electrocute you!"

"They should have been willing to give me me shilling. But I've done well by sending them to hell!"

"Your boobs are big. Your butt is small. But still you're in for quite a fall!"

"Oh, well, didn't you hear? Bigger is good, but jumbo is dear. I'll give you boobs that come out to here!"

"Those delightful lips, they'll get you some tips. But what about these? Are they big enough to please?"

"A delightful little slut. But what about your butt?"

"Now that was quite a load to have to explode. What a lovely lass - I had to blow up your ass. But now I must hit the road."

Scott: "We have to look at what jingles and jangles, for science you know is the study of angles!"

Scott: "Don't take a leprechaun's gold. Not if you want to live to be ripe and old."

"You silly little twit. Have you forgotten the charm? A leprechaun's gold can't do him no harm."

"For pulling this trick, I'll chop off your dick!"

"Oh, oh me aching noggin. When I catch up with those two, I'll give 'em a good scroggin'!" (Whatever that means....)

Scott: "What's that I smell? Could it be me brother from hell?"

"Now that you're in place, I'll slice up your face!"

If there was an Oscar for lamest rhyme, this one would win:
Scott: "Cut her nose and I'll hack off your toes!"

Scott: "Back off, renegade, before I make you eat that blade!"

"Power to power, you've much to learn. Taller or shorter, I'll make you burn!"

Scott: "Fazio's the one with your shilling. It's him you should be killing!"

"Fazio's magic, pathetic and lame, will soon turn tragic, and me shilling I'll claim!"

"No, me dear, you shall not pass. I'll raise me boot and kick your AAAAH!"

"No reason for alarm. Just give me the coin and you'll come to no harm."

"You're making a mistake. As a magician you're a pathetic fake!"

"A pleasure it'll be, to get you out and set you free....with THIS!"

"With Fazio the Great we've had a good laugh. Shall I start up this saw and cut him in half?"

"Oh, too bad. Forcing me to cut in two, a nice young lad, such as you!"

Scott: "You'll share nothin'! I know how you are, you're only bluffin'!"

"We're alike, me and you. Evil as hell, all the way through!"

Leprechaun 3 Deleted Rhymes

The shooting script called for numerous additional rhymes. Here's a list of rhymes that didn't make it into the final cut, or appeared in a significantly different form:

"Not a very good year, but it's better than beer." (Licking whiskey off his face after Gupta broke a bottle over his head)

"Now for me main course... I'm hungry enough to eat a horse." (After eating Gupta's big toe)

"Only another Leprechaun could find it in here, and there's nary a one, anywhere near." (While hiding the pot of gold in the pawnshop)

"I sat by the Duchess at tea,
And she asked, 'Do you fart when you pee?"
I said with some wit,
'Do you belch when you shit?'
And felt it was one up for me."
(Recited to Gupta instead of the 'Old man of Madras' limerick)

"Ah, I'd look fine and dandy, in clothes this neat, a Leprechaun with flash, I think would be sweet." (Admiring the Elvis impersonator's outfit)

"Winnin' or losin', it'll be me own choosin'!" (While shooting dice)

"You'll be walkin' many a mile with only a smile..." (From a shoe commercial on Mitch's TV)

"Casino owner dies, while rollin' about in a bed of lies." (Variation of the rhyme in the psychic commercial)

"Outta me way, I've no time to play!" (To the two thugs, in Mitch's bedroom)

"Yer boobs are big, yer nose is small, but still yer in for quite a fall." (Her nose?!)

"Didn't ya hear? Bigger is good, but jumbo is dear. I'll give ya a nose that comes out to here!" (Still going on about her nose...)

"Ya silly little twit... makin' a wish, without usin' yer wit. A Leprechaun's gold can do him no harm! Wish all you want, while I cut off yer arm!" (After Scott wishes the Lep was at the bottom of the ocean)

"Now they know where it is me gold is hid... I'll have to carry it inside me lid." (Moving his gold into his hat after Scott and Tammy found the hiding place in the pawnshop)

"All right, me boys, hold yer tether, I'll be needin' yer bike, and a bit of yer leather." (Confronting a motorcycle gang as he prepares to follow Tammy and Scott to the hospital)

"Yer playin' a bit rough, but I'm just as tough..." (During a fight with the morgue attendant)

"Time for bed... lie down to sleep, and you'll soon be dead." (To Tammy, in the morgue)

"Ah, now that you're in place, I'll begin my work, and slice up your face." (Variation of the rhyme he said after capturing Tammy)

"A delightful lookin' boy... I can't wait to destroy." (To Scott, in the morgue)

"Power to power, yer nothin' to me, taller or shorter, I'll break yer knee." (Variation of the rhyme he said while confronting Scott in the morgue)

"Don't look now, I was on the ceiling, sharpening my knife for the final peeling." (After dropping on Scott from above during a fight in the morgue)

"Tell me where my shilling is, that's all I need. Give it back, or I'll make ya bleed." (To Scott, in the morgue)

"Now, my friend, it's time to die, I've made the fire and soon you'll fry." (To Scott, after starting a fire in the morgue)

"As a fowl, my feathered friend, you make them howl!" (After magically putting Fazio in a chicken suit onstage)

"No, lad... wrong line, it's one coin, one wish. Now I'll have mine." (After Fazio wishes he was in Caesar's Palace)

"This crowd, they're making too much of a din, I'll need some killing from two suits of tin!" (Magically animating two decorative suits of armor after Scott tells the audience to flee)

"You'll soon make me laugh, when he's cut you in half!" (Watching as one of the suits of armor goes after Scott with its sword)

"No wishes for you, you'll not get in the way, I'll pound you to pulp, and you'll die today!" (Preventing Tammy from making a wish on the shilling)

"Don't run away, I just want to play. A cut of yer meat will be quite a treat!" (Going after Tammy with the chainsaw)

Leprechaun 4 Rhymes

The Leprechaun wasn't in a rhyming mood in this movie. But he did make this declaration:

"Death and destruction are my game, agony is my name!"

Leprechaun in the Hood Rhymes

Death to he who sets a Leprechaun free.
Steal his gold, it will corrupt your soul you see.
For many a moon the legend has grown.
Death toll increases, solution unknown.
Beware the evil wanderer in search of his loot,
Lest you suffer the rap of his golden flute.
Flee while you can, the future's not good,
For no one is safe from a Lep in the Hood.

Stealing me gold's a sure way to grow old. Now me little room will become your tomb.

Unhand me gold, you thieving hoods. You got more loot than Tiger Woods.

Come hither, me hand, come here, as together we will shake them with fear.

A lot of time has come and passed. But still I see you're a big fat ass.

A friend with weed is a friend indeed. But a friend with gold is the best, I'm told.

Now find me gold in record time, or you'll suffer a bloody, hideous crime.

In a matter of time, the flute will be mine.

I'm here to claim me golden shillings. Now give them back or there might be killings.

Counting ill-gotten gains will cause you suffering and pain.

I didn't come to play with fruit. I only seek me golden flute.

I'm not sure whether this one counts:
All kidding aside, it's time to die.

The crowd were impressed. They loved every note. But how will you sound from the bottom of me moat?

I'll give you a choice. Me patience is drained. Give me the flute, or I paint the wall with his brains.

As they say, lad, so near and yet so far. Now live with the thought, you were almost a star.

Come closer, come closer, my fresh young lass. Let me take a look at you, before I (hoo!) tap your ass.

Sit down, sit down, my healthy filly. You're about to meet a club named "Billy."

They say in the hood, you're never down, unless you have the courage to go downtown.

For a foe of mine, you've done quite well. Now I'll take me flute and send you to hell.

Postmaster P: If this is to be Post's last stand, you'll have to take this flute from me cold, dead hand.

I'll take it from you, homie, you'll see, cause you know the Lep is the real O.G.

A valiant try, and right on cue. But if I fall for that I'm as stupid as you.

Leprechaun in the Hood Deleted Rhymes

The July 1999 script called for numerous additional rhymes, some of them by characters who didn't make it into the movie. Here's a list of those rhymes:

Lonnie Cochran: You don't need a case, to win based on race.

Lonnie Cochran: If it does not boot, I will file suit! [Talking about Y2K problems]

You can run, but you can't hide! You stole me gold -- I'll not let that slide! [to Mack Daddy, in his office]

The blunt is dope, this place is hype, bring the booty right here, and I'll lay me some pipe! [Looking at the waitresses in the bar]

By my height, don't be fooled. I pack plenty of tool. [In the bar, as the waitresses ignore him]

I've got a tip, it's long and green, ask me nice, I'll be your love machine! [As he zombifies a waitress in the bar]

Four babes for every gnome -- I like this place -- I'll make it my home. [In the bar, just after zombifying the waitresses]

A night with a Leprechaun'll bring you luck, 'specially if it's spent in a four-way f-- Ah, well. No need to be crude, then, is there? [To the Zombie Fly Girls]

I never welches on me debt, but when I drink I tend to forget. [When the bartender asks him to pay his tab]

A man of your sorts giving me a whipping? On the ghost of Jack Sprat, you must be trippin'! [After the bartender threatens him]

If you're confused, my little pup -- why not ask yourself, 'Whassup?" [Taunting the bartender]

Sometimes a really nasty chap just needs a tiny little zap! [Just before giving the bartender an electric shock]

A little trick from old Hong Kong. Now, give back my gold, you might live long. [To Jackie Dee, after demonstrating considerable skill with a samurai sword]

And who might this choice morsel be? The lovely wife of Jackie Dee? [Seeing a woman's picture in the pawn shop]

There is one way to spare your life -- give me a night with your bo-dacious wife. [To Jackie Dee]

On this I pledge my Leprechaun's oath -- for a romp with that fox, I'll spare you both! [To Jackie Dee, talking about Jackie and his wife]

Cross my heart and hope to die, pull a sword out of your eye. [Still talking to Jackie]

No one will have leave to scoot, til I reclaim my magic flute! [To the boys, after killing Fontaine]

They say the cure for smoker's breath [he coughs some smoke] is the blood of a wench who's Leprechauned to death! [Going off with the woman the Zombie Fly Girls brought him, shortly after being set on fire by the boys]

The Spring 1999 script had still more bonus rhymes:

I don't suppose your name is Slim, but if it is, I'd hate to be him. [To Mack Daddy during the opening sequence]

Discs of gold! This place has soul![Looking at the gold records on Mack Daddy's wall]

I'll get me flute, on that you can bet, or leave this town with a pot of regret! [On the way out of Mack Daddy's office]

The hood is dope, the town is hype. When I finds me gold, I'll lay some pipe. [Looking at a hooker; the July 99 script has a variation of this rhyme]

If gold's the name, then pool's me game! [Outside a pool hall called 'The Golden Cue']

Would you like some green, in between? [Trying to flirt with a waitress]

I've got a tip, it's long and green, if you ask me nice, I'll tickle your spleen! [Trying to flirt with a waitress; the July 99 script has a variation of this rhyme]

If you want my money, say the magic words, honey. We owe our souls to the Leprechaun, where the days are green and the nights are long. [Preparing to zombify the waitresses]

The flute is calling, and I must go, but we'll be balling in an hour or so! [To the Zombie Fly Girls, after hearing the flute from afar]

I didn't expect to see you here laddie. Did you lose your way in a rice paddy? [To Chow, in the store]

You know me gold flute means everything. Now where do you keep your Irish Spring? [To Chow, in the store]

Those who oppose me, this is your fate. Obey me now, or incinerate! [After setting Chow on fire]

I know you thinks me a horny old bugger, but how about a taste of some fine brown sugar? [To a hooker]

I'll show you me tally when we step in the alley! [After the hooker expresses doubts about his endowment]

I get no benefits, I don't get paid. Screw the flute, I want to get laid! [Hearing the flute from afar while busy with the hooker]

I pride myself on shagging for hours. A trick I learned from Austin Powers. [While busy with the hooker]

Saints and sinners! Losers and winners! When it comes to killin', you're all beginners! [Bursting into the church]

You burned me once, you burned me twice, now open this door and let's place nice! [To the boys, in church]

How dare you taunt the Leprechaun! Your torment shall last from dusk to dawn! [As the boys play the flute to tease him]

Play me a song before you die, and you'll see hell, by and by. [Using magic to make Reverend Hanson go to the church piano]

Money, cash, dough, and bread. He had his fill 'til he was dead! [Using communion bread to suffocate Reverend Hanson]

You challenge the Lep, with the flute at stake?! What tragic errors these humans make! [Taking on Kung-Fu Joe]

Missed me, missed me, never should have dissed me! [Still fighting with Kung-Fu Joe]

It's been a hoot, it's been a blast! But now it's time to kill your ass! [To Mack Daddy, in the final confrontation]

If you ask me, the Leprechaun rap song at the end of the movie is the high point of the entire series. It's especially impressive when you consider that it was shot with very little rehearsal, and was performed by an actor with no prior experience as a rap artist. Great job, Warwick!

Here are the lyrics:

Lep:
I come from the land of the Irish spring
Dublin's the place where I learned my thing
From the Emerald Isle to your place in the hood
I'm the man of green come to do no good
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good

Plenteous dope, this place is hot
There's a lassie, she's just my type
I hate to resort so soon to magic
Haven't been laid in so long it's tragic

I'm so bad, I'm good

I'll show you what to do, so lend an ear
Don't worry, little lassie, you've got nothing to fear
Sit with the lad who's lean and green
And let me show you why I'm a love machine

Come to do no good

I'm a wee green guy who's new to town
Show me what you do when you get down
I'll go up, you go down
We'll cause a scene, you'll love the green

Lep and Zombie Girls together:
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good
Lep in the Hood, when we're bad, we're good

Lep:
From the cliffs of Moher to your front door
Better turn out the lights and pray some more
We're gonna party through the night until the dawn
Then you and I are gonna get it on

Lep and Zombie Girls together:
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good

Zombie Girls:
Lep in the Hood, come to do no good
Lep in the Hood...

Lep:
Come to do no good.

The scripts that are available on this page had a version of the rap song that is significantly different from the movie. And although both scripts have the same lyrics, the circumstances are a bit different in each one. You can check out the details in Part 2 of the Spring 1999 script and the July 1999 script.

Leprechaun Back to tha Hood Rhymes

There are no rhymes in this movie, but there's still some fun with language as they redefine the word 'ninja'.